Welcome 2008 with open arms!

I woke up one day and realized that im too deeply infatuated with conforming to what society accepts as normal. Im becoming one of those! the girls i look at and say "poor thing let her relax! " i used to look at them and say i hope im not ever going to live like them! when subconsciously I AM indeed living as a hypocrite. I now remember little things my friends would say to me like Z why are u so scared lets go meet strangers ! and id pretend i was ok with it but my subconscious was scared shitless that id get labeled a slut when half the time i don't know the people nor am i doing anything remotely slutty. BEFORE I BECOME PINK PRINCESS (i love you to pieces but i never want to be as paranoid as u) This winter Nq and i hung out and she kept on calling me paranoid whenever we did anything that deviated from norm! somehow it got to me and i started to realize that i am fucking paranoid! im a fucking Paranoid freak id be a schizophrenic if i keep on doing this to myself! So heres a contract that i wrote for me to stick by this year:

I Z of Nzn will try my best to complete the list below of things that will improve the inner moi and make me a better, less paranoid, social and less of an insecure person.

• Slap myself every time i become a paranoid freak
• Meet new strangers
• have more "take care of me time"
• Never care what people would say as long as i know im not doing anything wrong to myself.
• learn how to flirt with girls in cars without squirming into my seat and failing miserably.
  
• keep more in touch with those that mean the world to me
• To not get scared when im confronted with feelings towards someone whos not socially accepted.
• Let my hair down (not literally its not long enough)
• Read at least 1 educational book a month thats not to do with my course
• GO TO THE GYM AND LOOSE 10 freaking kilos that i have gainged in 2 years!
• Do something crazy like jump out of a plane (its coming i swear those who know i've been saying it forever)
• Take more pictures
• Oh and watch all the musicals showing in London! I only have 5 left!
  

Party harder than ever but safer than last month !

Z

theres more but its impossible to finish them all ill add more when some of these are accomplished!