I GOT KICKED OUT OF SAINSBURYS (JAM3iya) for saying looser! 
First of all i am of age to purchase whatever i want to purchase! i'm 4 years over the age of acceptance! Secondly why wouldn't he take my kuwait license as id when every venue and business acknowledge it as a proper form of identification??? I went home to get my passport and then i saw the same man who was wearing a football jersey claiming he was the manager and showed him my passport so i then went to the cashier where i saw another poor soul being refused for his spanish id! so i laughed WITH him and said i know they are LOSERS for not accepting it! that was all! the manager (football jersey guy) said im sorry i wont have u disrespecting our staff ur not permitted to purchase these items... loool so i looked at him and said " ARRE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS?" i didn't know Loser was in the curse dictionary!! next he kicked me out ...so i showed them how cursing really is:P 

In addition, an old man at the crossing gave me a dirty look and said in disgust " YOU CUNT" for no apparent reason! looool so im convinced i shall be surrounded with weirdness forever!

PS: Hot girl and friends are now good friends ;)



I dont understand something..... 

ok so the first Steve Lawler DJ night i went to i met a drop dead gorgeous FLAWLESS and i mean FLawless girl and she turned out to be egyption. we were all dancing together and having a great time when suddely her friend asked D where shes from and she told them she's Egyptian the girls got scared and went off! second steve night same hot girl came over and said hello to us and her friend drags her away! TONIGHT we go to see steve somewhere random and the girl came up to me and started dancing then HER FREIND TOOK HER AWAY!!!! what the fuck!!!!! get a life girls because we r arab doent mean we r gna ruin ur rep !!!! we r in the same boat girls we r fucked and partying and having a blast just like u are!!!!! get a life weird friend of hot girl!!! 

ok im going to enjoy whats left of my buzz...



2 weeks of utter Weirdness....

After an intense assessment and weekend of unimaginable mishaps i decided to re-evaluate my life. I sat for 3 days looking into an empty space just to regain my perspectives i came to realize that the longer Im away from home the more i loose who i am. i might be growing but who said thats a good thing...  Im loosing the child in me where is she? i cant find her....

 i tried to going to my fav places where i keep a lot of unforgetable memories but she wasn't there.  anyone know where she is?

I went to a gallery opening it was fun alot of sexually explicit art being analyzed by people who stare at it with drooling faces pretending its not turning them on. Then i saw her the girl that will not get out of my head! She had medium length hair in partial dreds with a lip piercing the kind that goes through her actual lip (sexy ass piercing) but what made me stare was her sad eyes... she moped around the room looking completely lost i found myself watching her and forgetting the art around me. She made me feel so bad i felt i had to help her but she disappeared and all i have left is a memory of the sad girl that i couldn't help.. 

i turned into a narcoleptic ! from insomniac to a narco what a freak right??? it started with my vivid cookie eating dreams and scary mirror filled rooms and angry clowns with red roller skates attacking me. that kept me awake now I'm falling asleep at every chance i get to sit down. chemical imbalance? i don't know all i know is that i cant go out alone anymore... well until blood tests come back...

i miss the sun and happiness...

im depressed again excuse the whole post


A tribute to steve lawler

i know i havn't known you for long but i love your music and it makes me happy but it makes me do things that arn't really good for me so i plead that next time u visit the end make me hate your music so i don't get crazy thoughts.... I Loved last night the beats rocked and you got the whole place shaking! Please be sure that i'm not crazy next time.... Ciao tiamo bello! 


Lol homosexuality was concidered a mental illness untill the lat ninties! hahah i knew it was named the plague of society but seriously untill 74? So should i be calling all my friends crazy? we r all part of the same looney bin !

i just thought it was funny...

back to cussing out the homophobic literature...

oh my god look at this poster!!!!!! :S

it made me mad... dont use the baby! i think i can speak for alot of non homophobic people that this poster is not ethical...


Damn Coursework!

I have this horrible habit of leaving my coursework until the very last minute well i now have 4 days to design a website, write a 1000 word review on it, a logbook that dates back 6 weeks and 2 essays which include 2000 word media report, 3000 word analysis of 2 movies and still i cant get myself off of blogs or off of face-book for that matter.

I've watched 4 lesbian movies 2 gay (for my essays:P) 
Made lunch 
Had  dessert 
Downloaded Fiests new album
Downloaded Greys Anatomy
Bought tickets to Cirque du Soleil and Tegan and Sara
Browsing Tiesto's tickets wondering which ticket i should get...
Lol took the picture for this blog 
Called my family sobbing I MISS YOU 1000 times

 I'm procrastinating and not giving two flying shits. So someone pray for me and give me some fear of failing or pray that i get it done by monday. 

Going back to watching my movies maybe they will help me write more....


Comfort food...

Why is it when you get hungry you eat , when ur sad u eat , when your in love you starve then u get hurt then u eat! whats up with food! Personally i adore food dont get me wrong i spend more on food then i do on clothes. I make a mental note on what foods to eat when i make my trip back home to kuwait every holiday! But seriously this has to stop! i look like an ugly pregnant ball of fat. The other day i had a relly stressful exam to study for and i ate the whole kitchen including the expired cookies that were surprisingly good. Thwn when i was done and 70% sure i had failed guess where i went? YUp u got it! SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES! I didnt get junk i decided to cook up a sophisticated meal! yeah right! Sophisticatedly FATNING!

so my question is WHY FOOD WHY NOT EXERCISE!

Welcome 2008 with open arms!

I woke up one day and realized that im too deeply infatuated with conforming to what society accepts as normal. Im becoming one of those! the girls i look at and say "poor thing let her relax! " i used to look at them and say i hope im not ever going to live like them! when subconsciously I AM indeed living as a hypocrite. I now remember little things my friends would say to me like Z why are u so scared lets go meet strangers ! and id pretend i was ok with it but my subconscious was scared shitless that id get labeled a slut when half the time i don't know the people nor am i doing anything remotely slutty. BEFORE I BECOME PINK PRINCESS (i love you to pieces but i never want to be as paranoid as u) This winter Nq and i hung out and she kept on calling me paranoid whenever we did anything that deviated from norm! somehow it got to me and i started to realize that i am fucking paranoid! im a fucking Paranoid freak id be a schizophrenic if i keep on doing this to myself! So heres a contract that i wrote for me to stick by this year:

I Z of Nzn will try my best to complete the list below of things that will improve the inner moi and make me a better, less paranoid, social and less of an insecure person.

  • Slap myself every time i become a paranoid freak
  • Meet new strangers
  • have more "take care of me time"
  • Never care what people would say as long as i know im not doing anything wrong to myself.
  • learn how to flirt with girls in cars without squirming into my seat and failing miserably.
  • keep more in touch with those that mean the world to me
  • To not get scared when im confronted with feelings towards someone whos not socially accepted.
  • Let my hair down (not literally its not long enough)
  • Read at least 1 educational book a month thats not to do with my course
  • GO TO THE GYM AND LOOSE 10 freaking kilos that i have gainged in 2 years!
  • Do something crazy like jump out of a plane (its coming i swear those who know i've been saying it forever)
  • Take more pictures
  • Oh and watch all the musicals showing in London! I only have 5 left!
Party harder than ever but safer than last month !


theres more but its impossible to finish them all ill add more when some of these are accomplished!